Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
2012
Love? well I am still married and we survived the holidays, but barely. My grandfather passed, on Christmas Eve... my husband thinks money grows on trees and my kids see me as their personal taxi, maid and cook.
All in all life is grand!! NOT!
I am praying 2012 is a better year than 2011............ see you soon!
All in all life is grand!! NOT!
I am praying 2012 is a better year than 2011............ see you soon!
Friday, November 11, 2011
Decisions.......
I have not signed in in a few days out of pure confusion. I have been trying so hard to save this marriage and now i sit here wondering why. I got to be honest with you guys and myself and take a little time to step back and figure out if this is worth the effort.
I do love my husband (well the man i married all those years ago) but the last 3 to 4 years have been rough for us. We have both done and said things to each other that continue to linger in my head (and heart). I keep thinking I am ready to forgive him and him me... but then it never seems to fail in a fight the past is brought up over and over again.
In the past few weeks I have tried to be positive but I keep finding things about him that I hate! He now cusses like a sailor and does this even infront of (and toward) our kids. He spends his days off sleeping the day away (is NO help around the house), he spends money (that we do not have) on stupid stuff with no consideration of whether the bills are paid or not, his temper is out of control- its like walking on eggshells all the time when with him. This is NOT the man I married.
I do love my husband (well the man i married all those years ago) but the last 3 to 4 years have been rough for us. We have both done and said things to each other that continue to linger in my head (and heart). I keep thinking I am ready to forgive him and him me... but then it never seems to fail in a fight the past is brought up over and over again.
In the past few weeks I have tried to be positive but I keep finding things about him that I hate! He now cusses like a sailor and does this even infront of (and toward) our kids. He spends his days off sleeping the day away (is NO help around the house), he spends money (that we do not have) on stupid stuff with no consideration of whether the bills are paid or not, his temper is out of control- its like walking on eggshells all the time when with him. This is NOT the man I married.
So I am going to take a few days off from the 30 days- i have some decisions to make.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Day 7 (well 6 of goals): Nov 7, 2011
After a day of almost complete avoidance of each other and a good nights rest I am here at the computer and have decided to try this again…. Not really sure why or if the decision will last. But, I awoke to a text from him this morning that read “I am here at work. I hope we can figure out how to be us again. I love u and know u love me. Am just tired of feeling lonely all the time. Have a good day.”
Now I do not know where this came from or why he sent it and I really do not know how I feel about it at all, but maybe, just maybe I was ready to throw in the towel too soon. Tonight, I am going to be positive and see where that goes. Not too much a goal, but its all I have the energy for today. Let you know how it goes tomorrow.
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